This is a post I’ve wanted to make since well before the site actually went live. In fact, it is largely the reason behind the “His and Her Journals” concept. It revolves around a revelation I had near the start of all the wedding planning. It is also a post that I fear will get me into quite a bit of trouble.

I’m a geek. No, this is not the revelation, I’ve known this for quite some time now. I’m a computer dork by trade and by hobby (case and point, I created and host this site). I like Lord of the Rings. I play video games. By all definitions, I am a geek.

Being a geek, prior to meeting Meg I was often shunned by the opposite sex (still not sure how Meg managed to see past it, but I have a hunch it rhymes with “Sum and Coke”). Me and my brethern geeks like things like hobbits and knights and dragons. Most women think they are childish.

Yet, once all of the Hallmark fluff and propaganda has twisted marriage into a “wedding”, what we are left with is a day where a woman can dress up and pretend she is a princess.

Let me explain. For those of you who haven’t heard a woman describe her wedding, it is always “beautiful” and “elegant” and “perfect” and “white” (everything in a wedding is white, just take my word on that one). Women spend exorbitant amounts of money on insanely long, white, and otherwise jeweled dresses that require a larger staff of people to carry it than are required to pilot most small ships. They sit on a metaphorical (or in many cases, physical) throne for all to see. They gather an entourage of friends and relatives to wait on them hand and foot (sorry if this is a surprise to any of the women in Meg’s bridal party, but rest assured this is in fact your role).

Short of having a court jester (which many would argue is the groom), a wedding is effectively a way for a woman to enter a fantasy world and live out dreams of being a princess. Where geeks like to imagine a world in which knights rule the land, women actually go so far as to spend insane amounts of money to actually visualize a similar fantasy.

Yet somehow, my fascination with elves and twenty dollar Lord of the Rings DVD makes ME the geek.

Well, we just finished taking our Pre Cana test for Villanova. Truth be told, it brought up some interesting questions. None that are going to make us reconsider getting married or anything, but interesting nonetheless.

It started out with some demographic information. That part was pretty easy, I felt like I actually had what they would consider a “correct” answer when I got to put “No” for “Are you pregnant?”

The test then moved into just under 200 questions that I got to answer on an old school Scantron answer sheet. The possible answers were “Agree”, “Disagree”, and “Uncertain”; not exactly a fine level of granularity in which to express myself. The booklet said not to share our answers with each other, which simply proved that Meg and I “agree” that directions are not meant to be followed.

The questions were related to a number of different things, religious, financial, sexual, and drugs/alcohol to name a few. The weird part is that they weren’t grouped by section, so they kept jumping around from topic to topic.

There were a few questions I noticed had to be total red flag questions. As in, if we answered differently, the church would kick us out before we even got to the class. For instance, “I am hoping that marriage will solve some of the major problems in my life.” That was question 122, but I imagine that putting “Agree” as the answer immediately disqualifies you from anything having to do with marriage. Same with “I have doubts that my commitment to this marriage is strong enough for a lifetime.”

My favorite had to be “I sometimes feel that this may not be the right person for me to marry.” Now, I’m no relationship expert, but there is a distinctly correct answer to that question. I’d love to see some woman get button-hooked in the Pre Cana class by having the priest show her that her fiancee or, “future spouse” as the test kept calling them, submitted a response indicating he’s not sure she’s the one. Alas, I don’t imagine I’ll be seeing anything that entertaining at these classes.

Another quality question was “Drinking or using drugs causes my future spouse to act inappropriately.” Correct me if I’m wrong, but is that not the whole purpose of drinking in the first place? I’d also love to see what they definition of “inappropriately” is.

So, that was the test, or at least a small subset of the test. Pre Cana is in two weeks, and it’s definitely going to be interesting. Rest assured I’ll be posting some color commentary on the events of that weekend. That is, unless I managed to foul up any of the answers on this test so badly that they just disqualify me before I even get there…