Like so many other nights, I stopped at the gym after work and thus arrived home after Meg. As it had been a good 2 hours since I had last eaten, I made my customary bee-line to the kitchen, briefly glancing over to acknowledge Meg’s presence, who was on the couch in the living room. Rather than checking the day’s events on theknot.com, I found her watching TV. But she wasn’t watching the news or Real World or anything, well, normal. She was watching a wedding video. Part of me wanted to believe that it was someone she knew; however the consensus of the monkeys in my head was that this was some random couple’s video.
Luckily, seeing the fear in my eyes she quickly pointed out that it was a demo DVD from a videographer. My initial paranoia as to Meg’s wedding obsession level subsiding, I found myself somewhat interested in the DVD. On one hand, the geek in me wanted to examine the production value, sound, video, etc. (which incidentally was surprisingly good). However, another part of me was intrigued to watch the antics of these random people. I figured at bare minimum, watching a bunch of drunk people dance is always funny.
So I indulged for a while. In the midst of a mental calculation of the cost of the videographer against the number of times we’ll actually watch the video (more on this in a later blog, but this is definitely a topic I will be revisiting), we arrived at the introduction (or as my wedding-inept self put it, the “announcement”) of the bride and the groom. A concept that I don’t believe I’ll ever fully understand, I do see the room for creativity and the introduction as a way to express the personality of the couple. A friend of mine came out to the Star Wars theme. That’s a cool idea, and if you know the couple, it works very well.
However, this particular wedding was a bit… how do I put this? Trashy. As bridesmaid after bridesmaid, or “BM” as you knotties would put it (more on you people in a later blog too, trust me), bounced their way into their room and out of their dresses, we couldn’t help but laugh. Again, it’s one thing to have fun. It’s another to have flesh bubbling out of every opening in the dress.
The highlight of the introduction, of course, was the bride and the groom.
I’m a WWE fan. I’ll admit it. Lucas and I have joked about how the introduction would be funny if set to a WWE background. For Lucas and me, the joking stopped there.
However, for this couple, the temptation was apparently too much. For those that can appreciate it, they were introduced to Rick Flair’s entrance music. Every three steps the groom stopped to give a hearty “WHOO” to the rest of the guests. He then proceeded to circle the room, giving high-fives to all of the guests and nearly scaring the poor grandmother into an early grave. This was soon followed by the Hulk Hogan “listen to the crowd” ear motion to all four sides of the dance floor (those that watch WWE know what I mean and to those that don’t, it looks as absurd as I’m sure you are imagining). While this gallivanting was taking place, the bride found her way to the center of the dance floor and proceeded to flex for the guests, following suit with the bridesmaids and nearly spilling out of her dress. Again, Hulk Hogan made an appearance as she mimicked the classic three Hogan poses (come on, you know what they are). All the while, the groom is still running around like he just won the Superbowl.
And these people decided that it would be ok for the videographer to show this to all of his potential customers.
There’s actually more to this wedding. The garter ritual was especially trashy, but that’ll have to wait for another blog entry (I’ll try to get to it soon because I know all of the monkeys in my head are scrambling to replace that image with thoughts of getting cavities filled, memories of working at HP, and the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard.).