I came downstairs the other morning to find an ad ripped out of a magazine on the kitchen table. I quickly glanced at it as I started to cook breakfast just long enough to discern that it was an ad for a jeweler. This wasn’t a surprise; Meg’s birthday is just over a month away and she has the subtlety of a root canal. However, when looking over it more closely, I found it was actually an ad for men’s wedding rings. We haven’t planned anything for the wedding in quite some time now, and I had almost convinced myself there weren’t a thousand more decisions that had to be made. On this particular topic, I thought I had already made my decision. However, Meg doesn’t quite agree with the idea of me having a Lord of the Rings inspired wedding ring (I may be wrong, but I believe the phrase used was “hell no”). My one idea shot down, I don’t have a clue how to go about picking a wedding ring.
Later that morning, in an attempt to draw myself away from the inevitable “I need a new job” mentality while driving to work, I found myself thinking more about wedding rings. On one hand, I’m somewhat afraid of having a wedding ring, but my reasons are not as sinister as they may seem. Every day, I wear my Villanova ring to work. And every day, within minutes of logging in, I take it off and place it… well, somewhere. That’s my issue. I’ll leave it on my desk. I’ll leave it in the kitchen. I’ll even leave it in the bathroom. Try as I might, I can’t seem to get used to typing while wearing a ring. So the biggest issue I’ll face with having a wedding ring is to figure out what I’m going to do with this thing during work (and later, at the gym). I would probably be better off simply tattooing “Meg” across my neck; at least I couldn’t misplace that.
I also found myself contemplating the purpose and meaning of the wedding ring. I came up with at least three distinctly different reasonings behind the concept:
Traditional: The traditional purpose of the wedding ring has to do with the third finger on the hand being thought to contain a vein of love. Many would argue that a circle was chosen due to the fact that a square ring would just plain suck. However, the choice of a circle has to do with unity and the idea of not having a beginning and an end. Basically, there are a number of religious and romantic sentiments behind the concept. Note in this description there is no mention of gold or diamonds. Nor is there mention of Helzberg, the patron saint of expensive things.
Women: To women, the wedding ring is the second major accessory to their wardrobes. The first of which is, of course, the engagement ring. As a side note, I don’t believe the engagement ring has an ancient or religious explanation of love associated with it, but is rather the complete fabrication of the unholy wedding-monger trinity of De Beers, Hallmark, and the flower industry. But in the end, when a woman gets engaged, the first question is typically “Let me see your ring.” When a woman gets married, the first question seems to be “So when are you having kids?” The wedding ring seems to take a back seat.
Men: The wedding ring serves as a way of tagging the groom before returning him to the wild. Not that anyone I know would ever be looking to pick up a woman after marriage, the wedding ring serves to ward off women within 30 feet of the groom. I work in a department consisting of all men; never once have I heard the phrase “Let me see your wedding ring.”
The other major significance of the magazine ad on the kitchen table is to serve as an indication the time is coming where the more detailed decisions need to be made. Meg’s bridesmaids, all of which I sincerely believe are more excited about the wedding than Meg is, have begun to ask about bridesmaids dresses. Meg’s dress is allegedly in the dress shop (not that she didn’t already wave to the store when driving by, even while the dress was still being built). We’re starting to talk about how to get all of the bridal party (and I do mean all, it’s gotten quite large, and when we finish asking people I’ll put up a page about them) to and from the church. Meg’s starting to get stressed, which downright scares me since we’re still 8 months out.
As for me, well, this is the stuff blog entries are made of.