On Wedding Rings…

I came downstairs the other morning to find an ad ripped out of a magazine on the kitchen table. I quickly glanced at it as I started to cook breakfast just long enough to discern that it was an ad for a jeweler. This wasn’t a surprise; Meg’s birthday is just over a month away and she has the subtlety of a root canal. However, when looking over it more closely, I found it was actually an ad for men’s wedding rings. We haven’t planned anything for the wedding in quite some time now, and I had almost convinced myself there weren’t a thousand more decisions that had to be made. On this particular topic, I thought I had already made my decision. However, Meg doesn’t quite agree with the idea of me having a Lord of the Rings inspired wedding ring (I may be wrong, but I believe the phrase used was “hell no”). My one idea shot down, I don’t have a clue how to go about picking a wedding ring.

Later that morning, in an attempt to draw myself away from the inevitable “I need a new job” mentality while driving to work, I found myself thinking more about wedding rings. On one hand, I’m somewhat afraid of having a wedding ring, but my reasons are not as sinister as they may seem. Every day, I wear my Villanova ring to work. And every day, within minutes of logging in, I take it off and place it… well, somewhere. That’s my issue. I’ll leave it on my desk. I’ll leave it in the kitchen. I’ll even leave it in the bathroom. Try as I might, I can’t seem to get used to typing while wearing a ring. So the biggest issue I’ll face with having a wedding ring is to figure out what I’m going to do with this thing during work (and later, at the gym). I would probably be better off simply tattooing “Meg” across my neck; at least I couldn’t misplace that.

I also found myself contemplating the purpose and meaning of the wedding ring. I came up with at least three distinctly different reasonings behind the concept:

Traditional: The traditional purpose of the wedding ring has to do with the third finger on the hand being thought to contain a vein of love. Many would argue that a circle was chosen due to the fact that a square ring would just plain suck. However, the choice of a circle has to do with unity and the idea of not having a beginning and an end. Basically, there are a number of religious and romantic sentiments behind the concept. Note in this description there is no mention of gold or diamonds. Nor is there mention of Helzberg, the patron saint of expensive things.

Women: To women, the wedding ring is the second major accessory to their wardrobes. The first of which is, of course, the engagement ring. As a side note, I don’t believe the engagement ring has an ancient or religious explanation of love associated with it, but is rather the complete fabrication of the unholy wedding-monger trinity of De Beers, Hallmark, and the flower industry. But in the end, when a woman gets engaged, the first question is typically “Let me see your ring.” When a woman gets married, the first question seems to be “So when are you having kids?” The wedding ring seems to take a back seat.

Men: The wedding ring serves as a way of tagging the groom before returning him to the wild. Not that anyone I know would ever be looking to pick up a woman after marriage, the wedding ring serves to ward off women within 30 feet of the groom. I work in a department consisting of all men; never once have I heard the phrase “Let me see your wedding ring.”

The other major significance of the magazine ad on the kitchen table is to serve as an indication the time is coming where the more detailed decisions need to be made. Meg’s bridesmaids, all of which I sincerely believe are more excited about the wedding than Meg is, have begun to ask about bridesmaids dresses. Meg’s dress is allegedly in the dress shop (not that she didn’t already wave to the store when driving by, even while the dress was still being built). We’re starting to talk about how to get all of the bridal party (and I do mean all, it’s gotten quite large, and when we finish asking people I’ll put up a page about them) to and from the church. Meg’s starting to get stressed, which downright scares me since we’re still 8 months out.

As for me, well, this is the stuff blog entries are made of.

18 comments

  1. From Jays blog: “Meg’s starting to get stressed, which downright scares me since we’re still 8 months out.”

    For the record, I am not starting to get stressed. I just don’t think that my darling FI realizes just how many decisions have to be made within the next 8 months. (besides it is an excited stress)….

  2. For the uneducated (read: unengaged men), “FI” is knottie-speak for fiancee. The fact that I know that shows that I already know more about weddings than I ever thought I would.

  3. Jay – Just thought you’d like to know the history behind the engagement ring…

    In 860 A.D., Pope Nicholas I decreed that an engagement ring become a required statement of nuptial intent. He insisted that engagement rings had to be made of gold which signified a financial sacrifice on the part of the prospective husband.

    Here’s the history of the diamond engagement ring…

    The diamond engagement ring originated with King Maximillian who presented Mary of Burgundy with a diamond ring in 1477 as a token of his love. The Venetians popularized the custom during the 15th. century. Since the diamond was the hardest and most enduring substance in nature it followed that the engagement and marriage would endure forever.

  4. “… which signified a financial sacrifice on the
    part of the prospective husband”

    I’d have a joke about that, but it makes me too damn angry.

  5. I got a ring…. You got an Alienware…. Whats the problem?!
    Puleze – don’t act all angry and bitter. You love how happy my ring makes me. :)

  6. “In 860 A.D., Pope Nicholas I decreed that an engagement ring become a required statement of nuptial intent.”… i thought the intent was shown thru a cow and some land?? damn.. that would have been easier.

    alienware jokes…always funny… jay’s little personal space station over there.

  7. what i wanna know is how come girls get a ring to show other men she is taken but a guy doesnt get a ring till he is married?

  8. That’s right, aren’t I supposed to get some kind of reward from Meg’s dad for taking her off his hands? I don’t see Heather making mention of that little nugget of history…

  9. Some kind of reward from my dad?! Arent I reward enough? I am sure that my brother could round up a cow for ya….or maybe the dog…that would be fun.

  10. “Ya, but I paid for both”…- jay

    AHAHHAHAA… wow… saved me an extra post. When Meg said you got thew alienware… i actually questioned if she got it for you but didn’t bother asking… so sorry jason. but hey, as long as you both are happy

    meg, you can get jay the Lord of the Rings Extended Edition DVD coming out in Dec.. then you guys will be even right? you each got something you really wanted… no?? nothing?? well hopefully you’ll get it for him anyway… Lord knows i’m not purchasing that junk for him… :)

  11. While I’m probably the one posting here furthest from being married, I find it interesting that the man has to make a financial sacrifice to get married… Wouldn’t it have made more sense for people to not waste their money on (getting ready for heat on this one) silly (though shiny works too) trinkets and instead focus their resources on building a life together?

    I’m curious how well this will go down… I doubt the guys will disagree, but whether they voice their opinion where the women can see is another matter. For that reason I feel like I just said “Go Kerry” at a Bush rally (or vice versa). :)

  12. I have to agree with Meg… My dad says I’m “reward” enough. He feels like any guy who’s crazy enough to want to marry me is getting everything he deserves… (my parents both told Jon he’d never be right again, thereby telling him, “good luck with that one”)

  13. Belated congratulations Meg & Jay, this is your cousins Jeff & Nancy Battaglino. (Ok, its just Nancy, but as you will soon find out once you’re married, the wife pretty much does all the talking, its a rule 😉 Your Mom and Dad told us all about your website, so being the noseybody I am, I had to stop by and check it out! Just a few notes for you to study up on so you’ll be ready for your upcoming nuptials. 1. She gets the ring cause she wants it and you have to do whatever she says. 2. You need to have the video so you can watch it every year on your anniversary, (we have watched ours every year, going on 17 now) and so Meg can say how much she hates her dress, the girls dresses and so you can keep track of every man who had hair at that time and does not now, and then rub it in at any public funtion. 3. Since you’re such a big wrestling fan, go for the WWE announcement. There is no wrong or right, its your party and if you’re lucky, its a once in a lifetime thing, live a little! 4. As for the flowers, stop cryin like some old lady and just go along with it. The sooner you realize that Meg’s way and the “right way” happen to be one in the same, the happier you’ll be! (Still trying to convince Jeff that that statement is actually true, no luck as of yet, but I’ll keep pluggin away!) Regardless of what decisions you make, it’ll be great and you’ll have a good time. Think of the reception as a reward for working so hard on the preparations! I’m looking forward to updates on your site, and I’ll be checking back often!

  14. Re: engagement ring. Jay you are getting Meg, a great girl who deserves the best. after all, if she wasn’t you would not be marrying her.

    Photos, videos, flowers, rings, etc. are part of what makes your wedding day speciall. Knowing you, you may bitch and moan, buy come the day of the wedding you will be all into it and have a great time. Also, I have never know you to agree to something you don’t want. It’s all part of the wedding.
    Also, I am sure if you wanted an “engagement ring” Meg would buy you one. However, a Lord of the Rings’ one isn’t quite acceptable for an engagement ring.

    you can keep moaning, but we know you LOVE IT.

  15. KUDOS to Heather for her reasearch on engagement rings.

    I’ll sneak Nancy into the reception. She’s fun…

    Just a comment from a long married person, any wife that has to put the seat down on the toilet
    constantly, deserves a gorgeous ring like Meg’s.

    Also, Alienware will be obsolete within a few years, Meg’s diamond ring will only gain in value. That’s the bottom line….

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