“What did you do in school today?”
“We learned about Martin Luther King. He said that the blonde people–”

Hang on, this comment needs some context to fully appreciate. Meg explained that her teacher had separated the blonde kids from the kids with brown/black hair as an example. That part, about the hair, is especially relevant given Leanne’s choice phrasing here.

“He said that the blonde people thought the brown people were bad but they weren’t actually bad. Then he got shooted.”

The last time I struggled this badly with a response was when Leanne saw me changing Austin’s diaper and asked “What’s that?”

I tell Austin not to go behind the couch. So what does he do? If you answered “Goes behind the couch”, you’re wrong. That’s what normal kids would do.

Instead, he looked me right in the face, smiled, and took a massive shit in his diaper.

That’s some serious psychological warfare right there. I’m pretty sure that sort of response violates the Geneva convention.

The parents were nestled all snug in their beds when, suddenly, Meg remembers we didn’t deal with Leanne’s lost tooth and sends me flying around the house to scrounge up a suitable… I don’t even know what to call it. Reward? Hard to call it that, the child didn’t actually do anything. It’s just nature. I don’t get a reward whenever I take a dump, that’s just nature as well. So now I’m off on another adventure to jam my hand under her pillow like I’m some sort of redneck fishing in a mud hole.