“This is going to end up on Facebook, isn’t it?”
“Oh sweet merciful crap yes.”
Two minutes earlier…
“What about this for an idea for Leanne’s Christmas party at school? I take some white styrofoam cups, draw snowman faces on them, put them in a pyramid–”
Now at this point, I’m picturing a vertical pyramid. As if each child got their own multi-layer snowman to take home. Sounds kinda neat right? I should take this opportunity to remind my faithful readers that Meg did, in fact, graduate from Villanova’s School of Business.
“… and the kids can throw cotton balls into them.”
“I don’t get it, how– hang on, are you playing beer pong with a bunch of kindergarteners?”
Annnnnnd there’s that college degree in action.
“Well, no. It’s supposed to be throwing snowballs.”
“Yeah, but, and I know it’s been a while since I’ve played me some beer pong, I’m pretty damn sure that’s beer pong. I mean, sure, there’s no beer — there is no beer right? just checkin’ — there’s no beer, but these kids are going to go home and tell their parents about their party and effectively describe beer pong.”
“Just… god damnit Jay. <rubs temples> Do you think it’d be fun?”
“Is it… is it called Snowball Pong?”
I thought about the American Horror Story episode I had paused in the basement and worked through all possible answers that led me to ending this moment as quickly as possible.
“Hard to say. As a game concept–”
Clearly, I failed miserably at choosing the shortest possible path towards resuming my night.
“– as a game concept, I think beer pong kinda sucks. It’s hard to say because I’m normally blasted off my ass when I play.”
She gave me that look that said I wasn’t leaving until she had a real answer. It said quite a few other things as well, but trying to put that look to words would be akin to someone reading from the Necronomicon.
“Ok, real answer,” our hero replied with a growing sense of fear, “I’m worried that cotton balls won’t fly correctly.”
“I thought about that too, so I figured I’d bring ping pong balls as back up.”
“So wait, lemme get this straight–”
So now I’m back in the basement, which is where I wanted to be in the first place.