Daisy Troop

“Are you busy?”

With the last remnants of my holiday break dwindling away, the last thing I wanted to do was whatever task Meg was about to set before me.

“Um–”

… I also realized it was futile to attempt to get out of it.

“Good. I need help with something for the Daisy troop.”

I thought back to last year’s Snowball Beer Pong game for Leanne’s class and braced myself.

“I need you to print something like this out for the girls.”

I’ll pause here while you scroll down and look at the picture attached to this post. I’m sure I’ll regret posting this when 2015’s “Year In Review” app comes about and highlights all of your pictures of the year and this is the first thing I’m greeted with. Last year was a severed Barbie arm, this year is the calling card for a child murderer (then again, it’s only January 4th, so there’s plenty of time for things to get worse).

“Jesus Christ, what the shit is that?”
“It’s for the girls to sign.”
“In what, blood?”
“The one online has 6 to a sheet. I need 9 copies.”

I debated for a minute whether or not I wanted to know more about this. Against my better judgement, I kept going with this line of questioning.

“What are these for?”
“For the girls to hand out.”
“To whom, the victim’s families?”
“It’s for doing… things. For a badge.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know, like helping fold the laundry.”

Folding laundry was on page 7 of the list of things I thought would prompt this sort of message. But then again, the first 3 pages of ideas I had all involved the word “serial killer”.

“Don’t you think they’re, I dunno, a little fucking horrifying?”
“… maybe.”

Thankfully, I was able to convince her to let me re-create them without the bloody child hand print watermark. So to all parents of daisies in Meg’s troop, you’re welcome for saving you finding these placed in random locations around your house.

daisy

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